Learning How To Swim

It may be about the motion of the ocean, and we may be boys without boats, but we definitely know how to swim. :)

Anonymous asked: I'm trying to teach my youngest cousin to skip, because apparently without this fine motor skill he won't be able to progress to first grade. The problem is, how does one teach another how to skip? It's something that comes naturally to me, like eating entire large pizzas, or deep throating. Advice?

Ben says:



wispeyed asked: Okay, so, where i work is offering Burritos and Tacos for lunch today. i'm all super psyched, right, 'cause who don't love Burritos AND Tacos. Except, wait, i have to choose. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Which do i pick!??

Ben says: EAT ALL THE THINGS. 

Alex says: Burritos, Tacos are Tacos…. Burritos are harder to mess up…

Anonymous asked: I get super-duper tense when it comes to anything sexual. Like, to the point where everything tickles so much it hurts. I know it's because of Deep Dark Emotional Reasons (bad past experience), but I don't want to have to explain the entire thing to every partner I have. How can I calm down enough to not ruin a perfectly good evening and actually maybe enjoy sexytimes again?

Ben says: Perhaps it might be best to wait for a partner who’s understanding enough to take it slow and at your pace. Sex can be fun and awesome and all that other stuff, but trying to force yourself to enjoy it is not a good idea. If you’re not into the idea of therapy, it’s still a good idea to talk to people and talk to your partners about how you’re feeling. You don’t have to tell them your whole life story, but explaining enough for them to understand doesn’t make them want to be with you any less. And if they don’t, that’s their problem not yours.

In short, a bad sex experience is nothing like falling off a horse, you can’t just get back in the saddle like nothing happened. These things take time, don’t rush yourself. 

Anonymous asked: i know the best way to find love is to wait for it, but my last significant other has already moved on, mighty fast if you ask me, and it makes me feel annoying and clingy. i'm trying to avoid a rebound relationship, but i feel horribly lonely. advice?

Ben says: Everyone moves at their own pace. Some people move on faster than others, but don’t let that make you feel like you need to rush into a relationship yourself. Letting them have their space might work well for you as well because it will give you time to heal without reopening that wound over and over again. Taking a break is never a bad thing. Don’t be with someone just for the sake of having someone to hold at night. Take this time to be kind to yourself. Connect with friends. Find hobbies. Talk to people. Let whatever happens happen. 

Anonymous asked: So, I accidentally met a girl at my work, I'm not a customer service worker but she asked me for help and I never say 'no' even though it's not my job.. Anyways, she scared the beejesus out of me by sneaking up from behind, and then I noticed that she has a beautiful British accent, and the most interesting voice, it was kindof soft, but not in the quiet way, more like she was always telling a secret. I helped her and then she disappeared. I want to find her, but is that crazy? She could be a fi

Alex says:

Some of the most real things to ever exists in life, no one ever sees… some of the things people see all the time are purely illusion.

I ask you not to believe what you saw was real but that it could be real. And in that thought true magic is born. 

If she wasn’t real you can find her in your day dreams, your night dreams, she is still there in your imagination waiting for you to find her again.

If she was real, it is the most unusual places that we find someone special and if it was fated for you to find her, she will apear in your life again.

My best advice is to stop looking. Just like love, if you are searching for it you will never find it.  When you least expect it, it will find you.

Anonymous Asked:

So I’m in love with this guy. Like, I’ve-never-felt-this-way-before-think-about-him-all-the-time-can’t-sleep-can’t-eat-writing-my-name-with-his-last-name-giggly-awful kind of love. We got together one night at a party and spent the whole time together and kissed and it was cute and he was so sweet. And I was pretty sure that we were going to be together forever. But we worked on a show together, so I saw him all the time, and after that night he wouldn’t talk to me and he barely will look at me. It’s been over a month since then and my feelings haven’t gotten any weaker. I tired to talk to him at another party, but he was just not having it and I’m not really a super forward person, so I didn’t pursue it. But I don’t know what to do. I’m so uncomfortable with how obvious I’ve made it so far, but I’m not sure if it’s enough, or he just doesn’t care, but I don’t want to go any farther, but he hasn’t done anything and asdfjkl;ljeijowoeifjoia help.

Ben Says: I hate to be a dick about this, but it sounds like he was just looking for a night of fun and games. I’m really sorry that you feel strongly about him, but your best bet would be to just get over him. He’s definitely not worth your time. 

Alex Says: Question the man, if he says no, then get over the motherfucker.

In short: He ain’t worth it boo, there are plenty of other guys out there. And we’re not all assholes.  

Anonymous asked: Seriously, how do you find out if a shy guy is interested in you? He's currently overseas, but he will be back next year. I just want to know so I can move on if he is not. Please note that he is shy.

Ben: suggests asking around, or asking them out on a non intimidating, casual date (low pressure)… investigation is tricky.

Alex: sometimes being nice and upfront helps. Even with shy guys none threatening, but to the point conversations are good. Its not an I like you, do you like me, check yes or no deal. Its a hey, I think you are a pretty chill person would be interested in hanging out sometimes. The thing with shy people is not all of them are shy once you get them in an environment they feel safe in. :) 

Anonymous asked: How long is too long to get over a person you once held a romance with?

Ben: if its been over a year and you are still cuddling up next to their picture its time to move on.

Alex: (feeling a little less blunt today) No matter who you are, or who they were, there will always be a small twinge of something (love, lust, sadness, confusion, anger, nostalgia, etc) and there will always be a recover period so to speak, the longer and more serious the relationship, the longer the recovery period will most likely be. (obviously that isn’t for everyone) and generally taking a personal break from romantic relations is healthy. BUT you are your own individual and for some reason the relationship didn’t work out. (this probably sucks, because you hopefully like the person) I say after a month maybe even two you should really try to start getting yourself on your feet. 

If the person who is not with you is controlling/ impeding in your life… its time to move on. (this question needs to be answered with brutal honesty or you will get no where)

mrs-poomz asked: Are we (the general Tumblr public) allowed to ask you for advice about EVERYTHING? Things I personally include in everything are: veterinary care, literary advice, childraising pointers, recipes, boys, girls, and mothers.

Yes just remember we are not vets, doctors, or professional therapists. :) But as a pet owners, has been sick/injured people, who have issues just like everyone else; we are totally down with giving it our best shot. :) 

You can ask us anything from sex, romance, and relationships to how do i make truffles :) There isn’t much we wouldn’t answer and I cant even think of an example. 

So basically Yes you can ask us about EVERYTHING

nowsashayaway asked: What's the best way to annoy the hell out of Jamie?

Remind her that her football team sucks several hundred times and clip all of her bras together